Phallocy

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Jack's Summary:

This short film was made in the late 90s by a trans man named Jay Allen Sennett who was dealing with "confusion and pain" related to his transition and his body. In Phallocy, Jay discusses deciding to transition at 32-years-old, and the complex feelings he has about being a man with deep links to a female past. He says, "I ask myself, how does a thirty five year-old man who played as a tomboy, bled like a girl, reared as a lady, fucked like a stone butch lesbian, and dresses like a dandy, become a man? How do I act for this part? Which parts of me should I keep? Throw away?" He goes on to describe having sex with a woman, referring to his prosthetic penises as "tools of the patriarchy", recalling how he cried because he would never be able to ejaculate.

Reflecting upon this short piece later in life, on his website (where the film can also be watched), Jay comments, "Listening to it now, the person I was then is not who I am now. As I’ve said before, learning to love myself as I am is my life’s work. Doing that work day after day has moved me from Phallocy to Truth, which is that I love my transsexual body very much, as it is. Phallocy represents a period in my life I will never forget, and one I’m glad to have moved through."