Romeos

Trailer.

Available Summary:

"A drama centred on the relationship between two young men, as one of them navigates the difficulties of life as a trans man." -IMDb.

Jack's Summary:

The protagonist of this film, Lukas Leonhard, is a 20-year-old German trans man. He has begun testosterone, legally changed his name, flattens his chest with a binder, and packs with a prosthetic penis. He cannot legally change his gender marker due to the Transsexuals Act (Transsexuellengesetz), which required that a trans person be sterilised, undergo surgery on external sex characteristics, and satisfy assessors before being allowed such legal recognition. (That law has since been ruled unconstitutional.)

At the beginning of the film, he is commencing his compulsory civil service (Zivildienst) as an alternative to conscription. Because his gender is not legally recognised, he is placed in female housing despite his male appearance. This leads to discomfort, conflict, and a happy reunion with his best friend Ine. Lukas swears her to secrecy, as he wishes to disclose as little as possible.

Ine, a lesbian, introduces him to the gay scene in Cologne. He meets Fabio, a gay man who seems confident and settled in his gay identity initially, but who is actually closeted in much of his life. Lukas, who used to live as a lesbian, finds himself increasingly attracted to men, and especially to Fabio. He unfortunately also meets a gay man named Sven, who is attracted to Lukas. More on that later.

When he is not working, Lukas lifts weights (with terrible neck posture), reconnects with Ine, parties with Fabio, tries to get moved into male housing, submits applications for surgery, and supports fellow trans men via an online forum where he also seeks support. Videos of real trans men are shown, sharing their top surgery scars and post-op drains/bandages, and Lukas researches phalloplasty.

Though Ine is supportive of Lukas, she becomes frustrated when he neglects their friendship, and repeatedly provokes him with transphobic comments, admitting that she misses who Lukas used to be. In a moment of deliberate ignorance, seeking to annoy Lukas, she says, "If you love boys anyway, then stay a girl. It would be easier. Why put yourself through all this?" Lukas, frustrated, replies, "Are you crazy? The one thing has absolutely nothing to do with the other!"

I liked this exchange because (within the conflict-laden context of Romeos) it allowed a trans man to firmly assert the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity. Ine's comment is presented as purposefully juvenile, like many of the characters' comments, rather than a logical point. In fact, the entire film operates that way; all of the main characters, Lukas included, are flawed. This is not a feel-good movie about people who have their shit together. It is, at times, upsetting and confronting, which makes its ultimate tenderness all the more moving for me personally.

Lukas becomes aware that Fabio is closeted when he sees Fabio partying with another group of friends, flirting with women and throwing around homophobic slurs to cover for his own orientation. This cockiness is consistent with Fabio's personality thus far. He is assertive to the point of being aggressive, uses ableist slurs (in an authentically early-2000s way), and struts around nude after having group sex in a car. It is entirely unsurprising that, when he becomes aware of Lukas's trans status, Fabio becomes hostile.

Lukas is caught off-guard when his mother, father, and young sister visit him at his home while Fabio is present. His sister throws a tantrum and outs Lukas, yelling his deadname and referring to him with she/her/hers pronouns. In a moment of thoughtless panic, Lukas slaps her cheek to try and stop her yelling, freezing in shock when he realises what he did. The damage is done, and Fabio (who watched this occur) knows Lukas's secret.

Predictably, Fabio then calls Lukas slurs, quizzes him about his genitals, and makes derogatory comments about trans people overall... but the act is not convincing. It's apparent that he is still attracted to Lukas, curious about him, and does not actually believe the cruel things that he says. The film, rather than framing Lukas as a powerless victim, shows him pushing back against Fabio's ignorance, and emphasises that Fabio's weak-willed nastiness comes from being insecure in his own identity. He is afraid that he will be judged, by other gay men, for being attracted to a trans man.

While nobody in this film can apologise (Fabio included), he continues to flirt with Lukas and pursue him, physically showing his affection in contrast to his performative bigotry. The push-and-pull in this film is not just between two men, but rather, between acceptance/pride and hatred/shame.

Lukas comes across Sven, who is distraught after finding out that his boyfriend has been cheating on him. They go to a bar, drink together, flirt, and return to Lukas's home. Lukas, drunk, starts to protest as Sven undresses, saying, "I can't." Sven, not taking no for an answer, insists on sex until Lukas comes out as a transsexual man. Once he knows, Sven's demeanour totally changes. He starts calling Lukas slurs and making comments about his genitals, grabbing his chest, intent on raping him. Lukas physically fights Sven off, standing up for himself and insisting that Sven leave. I found this to be a realistic and confronting depiction of assault. I appreciated that it ended with Lukas aggressively defending himself.

The day after this assault, Lukas is irritated when Fabio turns up at his home, not prepared to deal with any more bigotry. The emotionally-constipated Fabio, trying to show that he views Lukas as a man without using his words (god forbid), gifts him a DVD of gay porn.

The pair hang out at Lukas's home. Fabio shows Lukas how to do a dumbbell overhead tricep extension, gently touching his upper body to instruct him on proper technique. Lukas freezes, afraid, when Fabio accidentally touches his chest area, anticipating violence given that he was assaulted very recently by a cis gay man. Speaking softly and without judgement, Fabio moves his hands away from Lukas's chest, holding his arm instead, encouraging Lukas to keep lifting the dumbbell.

It's hard to describe how beautiful this moment is, when Fabio abandons his machismo and shows Lukas that he is safe.

The pair almost kiss, but Fabio panics when Lukas's homophobic neighbours laugh and jeer, mocking them for their obvious closeness. Lukas, in a display of immaturity, laughs at Fabio in this moment, not taking his fear seriously. Fabio leaves.

Lukas goes to Fabio's apartment, unaware that Fabio lives with parents who believe their son to be heterosexual, not realising the boundary that he is crossing. Fabio, who risks being kicked out of home if discovered, makes Lukas leave, pushing him into the building's elevator. The elevator doors close on the pair of them as they bicker. "I never want to see you again." "I'm sick of you." "Me, too."

They then stand there, arms crossed, pouting like children, the elevator ride painfully awkward for both men. I adore this scene. It is so clear that, despite his bluster and immaturity, Fabio is not a threat to Lukas, and Lukas is not powerless in their relationship. Sven aside, this film moves beyond victim-aggressor dynamics and instead gathers a cast of flawed, young, still-emotionally maturing adults who lash out at each other by saying things that they don't mean.

Some time later, Lukas and Fabio reluctantly play pool together when Fabio's girlfriend Jacqueline, unaware of the pair's connection, insists on it. Throughout the evening, Lukas and Fabio gravitate towards each other while Ine and Jacqueline bond. The two men are shocked out of their repressed conflict when Jacqueline and Ine hook up, enthusiastically kissing in the backseat of Fabio's car. The men realise that denying their mutual attraction has become ridiculous. Like Ine and Jacqueline, they are two consenting adults.

Lukas, feeling safe with Fabio, invites him home. Fabio's gentle, loving, non-verbal communication returns when he reassuringly kisses Lukas, letting him know that it is okay for Lukas to remove the oversized shirt he layers on top of his binder. Fabio, in his way, is telling Lukas that he will not be hurt or judged.

After Lukas has sex with Fabio, he sits outdoors, contentedly watching the sunset while smoking a cigarette. The film concludes with footage from Lukas's future, after he has undergone top surgery; he runs on the beach, shirtless and overjoyed.

The casting of Lukas.

Sabine Bernardi, the director of Romeos, discussed the film in this 2011 interview. She says that she became interested in making a fictional film about a trans man after directing the documentary Transfamily (2005), which focused on a pair of trans men in a relationship with each other.

Bernardi emphasises the importance of casting a male actor rather an actress, stressing that Transfamily taught her how much testosterone changes the bodies of trans men. She was not interested in having a woman portray Lukas. She specifies that she did search for trans male actors, but struggled to find many. Beyond actor availability and visibility in the early 2000s, she also had to deal with casting directors who were unwilling to get involved due to the trans subject matter and the film's low budget.

According to Bernardi, Rick Okon (who played Lukas) auditioned to play both Lukas and Fabio, but fell in love with the role of Lukas, preferring to play him. While Okon himself is not trans, Bernardi describes introducing him to real trans men who educated him for his role, with Bernardi herself also guiding Okon.

I appreciate Bernardi's casting choices, given the position she was in, and I love the way that she speaks about trans maleness. She sought out trans male actors and, when she could not find one, cast a cis male actor. The non-negotiable part was that a male actor play Lukas.

In the film, Okon wears very convincing chest prosthetics in order to portray the pre-op Lukas. Reading reviews of the film, many people seem to have believed Rick Okon to be a trans man, and I initially thought he was as well. Many trans men look and sound like Lukas after some time on testosterone, after all, which is a fact often not grasped by other filmmakers.

In summary...

Many people, particularly trans men, will dislike this film or outright hate it. I am well aware that I have a soft spot for Romeos which makes me more likely to look past its flaws and be unaffected by the casual transphobia of most characters.

Would I recommend that you watch this film? I dunno, it really depends on your threshold for drama and bigotry, and where you're at in your transition (if that's relevant to your life). As always, my reviews are just one bloke's opinion. Me, personally? I love Lukas's self-assured strength, his determination, and his masculinity. I love that Lukas, despite what he goes through, is not a victim.

Overall, Romeos includes alcohol use, tobacco smoking, brief marijuana smoking, nudity, slurs, physical violence, and the near-constant anxiety of being outed/discovered as a transsexual. Lukas wears a velcro chest binder (with shoulder straps), and exerts himself while bound (running, lifting weights), which could be unsafe for you. In general, if an activity involves deep breathing, I do not recommend wearing a binder while you do it.