Ti-gars (One of the Guys)

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Available Summary:

"Vincent Lamarre enrolled in the Canadian Army as Virginie. When he came out to his superiors, he was surprised to find that they backed him unconditionally, as did his family. This documentary relates to Vincent's sex transition, with the support of his chain of command. What defines a man? His testosterone? His penis? His warrior spirit? The way people look at him?" -Vimeo (translated).

Jack's Summary:

This documentary is shockingly refreshing in its depiction of a cis mother’s relationship with her trans son, Vincent. I was surprised and delighted, actually, by how involved she was with his journey. The only point of conflict that is ever discussed is an assumption Vincent had made, when he was a teenager, that he had been born intersex and had secretly been operated on by his parents. With no information about being trans, and in response to gender dysphoria, he built up that fiction in his mind as an explanation of why he felt like a boy but had to live as a girl. In retelling the story, he apologises for the resentment this assumption caused, and his mother laughs and says that she understands. It’s clear they’ve moved past that difficult time of non-communication. Vincent’s relationship with his grandmother is also very positive.

He shows his mother STPs, packers, and prosthetics that he uses, and explains to her the ways in which he has sex. It’s a very open and honest dialogue, one that very few people (cis or trans) have with their parents.

Vincent’s best friend, another trans man, is also interviewed. He provides insight into life, as a parent who has given birth to three children, and how that impacted his dysphoria and gender certainty.

I would definitely recommend this documentary. One caveat, though, is that it’s a very binary perspective on transitioning. This does not bother me in the slightest, in terms of my own personal journey. I empathised with almost everything that Vincent said, particularly his comment that the goal of transitioning is to pass. For me, yes, that was (and is) true. But that is not the case for everybody, so be prepared if you are a trans/gender-diverse person for whom passing is not the goal, or even achievable. That said, I still feel that this documentary matters, for those of us with similar journeys to Vincent.

This is a film partly about the military, but I found it easier to watch than TransMilitary (2018), probably because there is less focus on the military itself as the film goes on. If you are entirely comfortable with the military, this distinction will obviously not matter to you.

WARNING: Unsafe chest binding.

Vincent exerts himself while wearing a chest binder. The safest approach to binding is to avoid any activity which requires deep breathing, since binders can restrict the movement of the ribcage.